Day 49

I wonder what you're doing. 

I wonder where you are.

I wonder what you are seeing on a day to day basis. 

I wonder if you are able to get any sleep.

I wonder if your getting enough to eat.

I wonder if the blisters on your feet have healed.

I wonder if all that your seeing is going to change the man I fell in love with.

I wonder if you have received any more of the packages I have sent.

I wonder if you have gotten my letters.

I wonder if you have had time to write me any more letters.

I wonder if you're are safe.

I wonder if you'll be able to call again soon.

It's been nearly two weeks since the last phone call. I tell myself that no news is good news; and I've repeated it so much that I actually believe it. 


I feel as if I have become two different people - the girl that smiles on the outside and acts as if everything is ok and the girl that comes home at night and wallows in the depression pool of worry. 


I try to stay positive and for the most part I do, but late night..... that's the hardest time of day. It's night time for me, but on the other side of the world I know that a new day is dawning for you. 


The Sand-Man no longer stops at my house. Perhaps he sees me as a lost cause.


When my eyelids grow to heavy and the darkness of sleep takes over, I sleep ever so lightly. More as if dozing than sleeping. One ear always turned listening for the phone to ring. 


Day 49 has come and gone; I simply pray that you are safe.