Day 111

Today I had to make that hard decision that I really didn't want to. 

I had to put Harley to sleep.

I felt like I was not only loosing a pet but also a piece of you.

I hope you are safe and that I will be able to hear from you soon.

Day 110

Today was one of those days I wanted nothing more than to sit down and just cry.

I could not imagine having to go thru this with kids. I madly respect the ones that do it - I know it can't be easy. One of our fur kids is sick. And I am so lost as to what to do.

Do I keep trying to get Harley better, continue the weekly vet visits which we really can't afford?

Or do I put him to sleep?

It's not a decision I really want to make on my own. But I'm afraid its one I'm going to have to.

He was my going away gift from you though so I want to do everything to save him..... silly I know, but I feel if I loose him it's kinda like I'm loosing a piece of you.

Day 103

Its been awhile since I've posted here. Just not really sure how to handle all the different emotions that go along with deployment therefor I really don't know how to write about them.

There are high moments - such as when I get a phone call or a letter.

Then there are the low moments - after the initial high from a call has past and longing has set in. Or the normal everyday events that Marine misses out on that I so wish he could be here to experience with me.

Also I'm afraid to admit that some of the stuff I had read before deployment was right. After the first few months it does kinda get easier. You learn to adjust to life without the other person. You get set into a routine. I still miss Marine like crazy but I've learned to handle things on my own for the time being.

I'm still just ready for him to come home though. And pray continuously for his safety as well as the safety of the others.